Eve is One Year Old!

Weight & Height: Eve weighs 19 lbs 13 oz (51st percentile) and is 27.75" long (8th percentile)... hey, she get's it from her momma ;-)

Clothes & Diapers: She is wearing size 3 diapers and mostly 12 month outfits with a few exceptions.

Eating & Sleeping:   She eats whatever we eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and transitioned to cows milk about 2 weeks ago. Let's just say I was not sad to move on from pumping! Ha!  She drinks a cup of milk for breakfast and one before bed... the rest of the day she drinks water and rarely juice (only if she's having trouble pooping!)  She sleeps from 7:30 pm to 7 am when we wake her, and takes a morning and afternoon nap - about 1.5-2 hours each.

Mood:  Happy, curious, sweet, and active!  Her little personality is so sweet... and mischievous!

Likes: Mommy, Daddy, Ava Kate... balls, Ava Kate's toys, play food, real food, getting tickled, music, dancing, the pool, being outside... she loves life.  She's a happy girl!

Dislikes: If you take her food away. HA!

Milestones: She is a girl of few words... one word really, just "dada" but she points to whatever she wants, eats anything and everything, she blows kisses, signs thank you, waves hello and goodbye, feeds herself, chowed down on her bday cake, turns pages in a book, flips the light switch, walks if you hold her hands, dances to music, brushes her hair, loves floating and swimming

Sentimental Things Mommy Wants to Remember: I love watching Ava Kate and Eve interact.  Eve loves watching AK and they are starting to "play" together by rolling balls, or building (or tearing down) towers of blocks, play cooking... it's so sweet.

Practical Things Mommy Wants to Remember: I've never  been so happy to pack up my pump and wash bottles as I was 2 weeks ago after pumping for the last time this go round... I was soooo over it.  Please dear Lord, let my next child nurse from the tap and gain weight appropriately.  Please, please, please.  Making it to a year of pumping and bottle feeding after the STRUGGLE of the first two months weight gaining + me being diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in the final 3 months = my proudest accomplishment... potty training at the same time is a close second.  Shew.

Eve is Eleven Months Old!

Weight: 20 lbs on our scale at home -- which is about half a lb bigger than Ava Kate was at this age.

Clothes & Diapers: Size 3 diapers and 12 month outfits for the most part.

Eating & Sleeping:   Morning nap (about 8:30) and afternoon nap (about 12:30) for about 1.5-2 hours, bed time at 7:30 pm.  Eats meals with us, drinks three 6 oz bottles of milk a day (morning, lunch, and before dinner).

Mood:  Curious and giggly! :) I think she'll be a (sweet) force to be reckoned with!  She is LOUD. Haha!

Likes: Being in the water (pool or bath), exploring and moving around, playing with her toy kitchen stuff, being tickled, "reading books," dancing, giving kisses, eating

Dislikes: When there isn't more food on her plate immediately. -_-

Milestones: She blows kisses, waves, turns lights off, walks if you hold her hands, pulls up by herself if she holds your hands (still can't quite do it on the furniture yet), dances to music (it's precious), shakes her head no, understands what "no" means, and had her first cake and ice cream (& hotdog thanks to Grandmommy and Granddaddy, lol), oh and she got her first leg poppin' because she bit the mess out of my arm... and she has 8 teeth now!

Sentimental Things Mommy Wants to Remember: I love snuggling her, I feel like the baby stage has gone by so fast and I feel like I have missed it. :(  How will she already be one in a month!?!?! Ahhhh.

Practical Things Mommy Wants to Remember: Her first bottle is breastmilk and her second two are half breastmilk and half formula... I gave up stressing over it and it is what it is.  SO ready to be done with pumping.  I so enjoyed it with Ava Kate... but it has been a struggle and CHORE with Eve.  I can honestly say I have done EVERYTHING I could (including going through a flex sigmoidoscopy with no anesthesia) to breast feed this child.

She looks like a different child in these pics -- think it's the hair being pulled back in the 10 month photo.

Lawdy, Ava Kate was pale haha!  They look nothing alike in these two pics, but there are moments that Eve looks a lot like AK... BUT, she mostly looks just like her daddy. :)

Eve is Ten Months Old!

Weight & Height: Close to 19 lbs according to our scale, and about 28" according to Ava Kate's measurements the other day (haha!)

Clothes & Diapers: Eve wears size 3 diapers and 6-12 month clothes, although more 12 mth as some of her 6 mth are too small for sure!

Eating & Sleeping:  We dropped the 4th feeding of the day, so she has 6-7 oz of breastmilk at 7, 11, and 4.... and usually at the 4 pm feeding I have to top it off with some formula to get it to 6 oz.  She doesn't seem to even notice she's not having the 9 pm feeding, so we let her sleep.  She eats food like a champ -- can out eat Ava Kate some nights.  She'll eat everything on her tray/plate and let you know loud and clear she wants some more.  We are working on signing "more"... otherwise it's a loud, high-pitch scream to let you know.  A happy squeal... but loud.  She does it with a smile on her face. :)

Mood: She's super happy, rarely fussy, and very flexible with whatever is going on!

Likes: Mommy and Ava Kate... even though AK can be a bit suffocating to Eve, she doesn't seem to mind.  She loves Daddy, playing in the water, BATHTIME, being outside, watching people, playing with Ava Kate's legos and blocks, rolling and crawling around the floor

Dislikes: Not much I can think of...

Milestones: She's got 4 top teeth, 2 bottom teeth, and another bottom tooth peeking through, she stands pretty well with assistance, but isn't really interested in pulling up herself, she finally moves from laying to sitting with ease (she could sit by herself for months, but was never interested in sitting up from laying down until recently), she feeds herself, says dada on occasion... and squeals all the time. :)  She's played at the beach with Granddaddy Mark, the river, and the pool.  We celebrated Father's Day yesterday!

Sentimental Things Mommy Wants to Remember: Eve likes to snuggle for a second and then she's a busy bee.  I love it when she lays her head down on my chest, even if it's just for a split minute!  She smiles and thinks it's soooo funny when you give her a "mean" look.

She's grown in the last month for sure!

I think she caught back up (and maybe passed) her sister in size at 10 months!  She's got more hair than Ava Kate did too!

Everything is going in her mouth... everything.  And she doesn't like to lay still for pictures! :)

Eve's Nine Months Old!

Weight & Height: 18 lbs 3 oz at her appointment, & 26 in long (although I question the accuracy of the height... weight is 50th percentile, and height was 4th... lol)

Clothes & Diapers: Eve is wearing size 3 diapers and 6 month to 12 month clothes...

Eating & Sleeping:   Same nursing schedule as before - she eats about 5.5-6 oz at 7, 11, 4, and 9.  I still nurse her for the first feeding, then pump and bottle feed the rest (boo).  No more purees (she didn't ever get the hang of them, so I just stopped trying... more hassle anyway!) but she's really picked up finger foods now.  She eats whatever we eat, and her favorites are pasta, green beans, crackers, cheese, and fruit.  For naps, she takes a morning and afternoon nap for about 1.5-2 hours each, and she sleeps until her last feeding and then through the night until about 7ish.

Mood:  She's can be a firecracker (or as loud as one), but she is a happy firecracker!  She loves playing with Ava Kate... and she still has stranger-danger randomly.

Likes: Mommy!  And she loves her sister, daddy, playing with toys, her paci, being tickled, snuggling a blanket, playing with Ava Kate, playing in the pool, swinging outside.

Dislikes: Hmm... can't think of anything.

Milestones: army crawling, first Mother's Day, first time in the pool, two top teeth FINALLY came in

Sentimental Things Mommy Wants to Remember: Even though she only nurses first thing in the morning, I'll take it.  She's definitely becoming more "independent" by rolling and crawling around to get what she wants... that has given me more to keep up with for sure! Ha!

Eve at 8 months vs 9 months

Ava Kate on the right vs Eve on the left. :)

Eve's Eight Months Old!

Weight: not exactly sure, but about 17 lbs?

Clothes & Diapers: Eve is wearing size 2 diapers (but could easily wear size 3, we just have 2 packs of size 2 left that I want to use before going to size 3), and anywhere from 3-12 month clothes (haha, quite the range, I know... but it's been super warm this spring, so her 3 month clothes are cool, and her 12 month clothes are cool... so we mix it up!  The 3 month outfits are just about too short for her, but the 12 months are pretty roomy.  6 months fit best, but the 6 month hand-me-downs are winter clothes... ahhh #SecondChildProbs)

Eating & Sleeping:   She eats about 5.5-6 oz at 7, 11, 4, and 9.  I still nurse her for the first feeding, then pump and bottle feed the rest (boo).  She has been sloooowww to pick up purees, so I just started giving her finger foods to entertain her while we ate.  She ate an entire half of a piece of toast this past Saturday for breakfast... with her two little teeth.  Haha!  For pureed food, she has had cereal, peaches (her fav!), green beans, squash, apple sauce, bananas, sweet potatoes, carrots, and pees.  She likes the peaches, and that's about all.  She also has had yogurt (which she gobbles down).  For finger foods, she has had a lot... pasta, mac & cheese, a little bit of pork chops, toast, strawberries, potatoes, green beans, crackers, puffs, bananas, corn, grits, bread, and probably a handful of other stuff that I can't recall right now.  :)  It sounds like a lot, but she mostly tastes the food and spits it out.  She's been actually eating a bit better in the past week or so.  She takes a morning nap and an afternoon nap for about 1.5-2 hours each, and she usually takes a evening nap after dinner and before bed.  We wake her up to put her PJs on and feed her and then she sleeps from 9ish-7ish.

Mood:  She is super sweet, and becoming more social.  She has been babbling more and giggling... and she loves when her sister plays with her.  She had stranger-danger fright for a little bit, but she seems to be getting over that now!

Likes: Mommy!  And she loves her sister, daddy, peaches, being tickled, snuggling a blanket, playing with Ava Kate, swinging outside, riding in the Tula, and reading books.

Dislikes: Getting her face cleaned

Milestones: Started drinking water from a sippy cup, first time sitting in the shopping cart & restaurant high chair, she's inching forward (not a crawl, but a pull with her arms and push with her toes kinda thing), she waves (but not consistently), she's thinking about clapping, first finger foods, first round of pink eye (& second, ugh), learning what "no" means, first time at the river, first time with her toes in the blow-up pool, and she's no longer the "Baby Cousin" because Judah was born last Thursday - the 13th! :)

Sentimental Things Mommy Wants to Remember: I love watching Eve and Ava Kate play together while I'm doing something (pumping, cooking, etc)... I know they'll be the best of friends and it's so sweet to see their little relationship developing.

Practical Things Mommy Wants to Remember: If one child gets the pink eye, EVERYONE in the family starts drops... otherwise we just pass it around for a few weeks... even if the doctor won't give the other kid drops... just use the eye drops for both kids!  Sanitizing the house 45 times in 2 weeks blows.  Also, potty training takes FOREVER and it'll be my biggest accomplishment when AK has no more accidents... that and breast feeding despite all the hurdles with Eve.  Shew.

Not a lot of change in appearance this month! :)

Comparison between Ava Kate & Eve at 8 months.  One is chunkier than the other, lol!

Dear Judah

Oh sweet baby boy, I cannot wait to welcome you into this world!  A boy!  What do we do with one of those??  It's been so long!  You, sweet boy, will be adored and put on a pedestal in the eyes of your older sister and girl cousins.  I am certain that you will do no wrong in their eyes.  I hope you get them dirty and put bugs on them and wipe fish guts from your hands onto their little smocked outfits, making them squeal with "Ewww... Yuck! Judah!"  I just can't wait for you to toddle after them and break up their little girl-talk circles.  Rest assured, they will all think that you are theirs and I feel so sorry for your future girlfriend and wife.  Bless.  She will have to meet a very high standard I'm afraid. ;-)

Judah, you have the best parents ever.  If you are anything like them, you will be able to do whatever you want to do in life, because they are driven, resourceful, determined, and super talented.  If nothing else, you'll be able to provide food and shelter from scratch!  I seriously don't know how they manage to do it all - they have pigs, chickens, bees, like 4 jobs, kids... and they are building a house and want to get cows and goats.   I mean holy smokes.  I think they are super heroes... which is way cool, because hello??  Who doesn't want to have super heroes for parents?!?!  Not only that, but super heroes with a farm?  #EveryLittleBoysDream

And your sister... oh my gosh.  She's super fun!  You are going to adore her.  She is sweet and loving, just like her momma!  She is super smart, and I am quite certain y'all will have some sort of secret signing code that none of us can interpret.  Haha!  I love that my girls, you, and Ella Paityn are so close in age and I hope that you will all be the closest of friends.  You also have the best babysitter ever in cousin Abi!  She is beautiful and dotes on her little cousins... and they look up to her so much. But don't worry, you won't be surrounded by all girls... You have seriously the best boy cousin to look up to in Cody... he is smart, polite, athletic, outdoorsy, funny, and everything anyone could want in a son!  If you turn out to be like him Judah, then I will no doubt have the best nephews in the entire world.  There'll be no competition.

Baby Cousin, we have prayed for you and wished for you!  You were a complete surprise, but trust me.... We prayed you would come and we have prayed for you to have a wonderful, exciting, healthy life.  We love you so much!  You are in for something great in the Morgan clan!

As I told EP before she was born, get your last minute tummy snuggles in, because soon, you will be born into this crazy world... and we are so ready to welcome you! :)

XOXO's
Aunt Laura, Uncle Parker, Ava Kate, & Eve

Eve's Seven Months Old!

Weight & Height: Close to 17 lbs

Clothes & Diapers: Eve is wearing size 2 diapers and a very few 3-6 month outfits, mostly 6 months... and even some 9 month if it's warm.

Eating & Sleeping:   Still working on baby food... she's a great taster, not a great eater lol.  She hasn't really hated anything yet except squash.  She's had bananas, carrots, sweet potatoes, cereal, green beans (pureed and mashed), peas, spaghetti noodles, squash, apple sauce... I think that's about all.  She eats 6 oz 4 times a day (7, 11, 4, 9) and goes down for the night and sleeps all night.  Sometimes she wakes up about 6:30, but just lays in her crib "talking" to herself... or if we go give her the paci and a blanket to snuggle, she'll fall back asleep.

Mood:  Still so sweet and relatively quiet. :)  Of course her big sis doesn't giver her a chance to talk, so there's that... lol.  She has rounds of fussiness, but so mild in the scheme of things.  She is also a wiggly worm and very curious.

Likes: Bottles, a rainbow hedgehog Santa brought her, her Turtle Turtle (also from Santa), her sister, her Mommy & Daddy, snuggling, baths... and she giggles just a little when she's tickled but she loves being tickled.  She likes jumping in her jumperoo and napping in her swing and rolling around on the floor when her sister's not tackling her. Haha!

Dislikes: Still weary of "strangers" and by strangers, I mean anyone that's not mommy/daddy/Ava Kate.  She does fine if I'm not around (like in the church nursery), but if she can see me and someone else is holding her... she tends to protest.  Still totally normal.  She also does not like squash.  Can't say I blame her ;-)

Milestones: Eating baby food, 2 teeth, starting to sit up better, first trip to Myrtle Beach w/ Mommy & Daddy at the FCA conference, first time with her toes in the sand.

I can see a bit of similarities between sisters at this age in those precious little smiles and blue eyes. :)

Big sis wants to be a photographer ;-)

See?  I can sit up!

Photo Cred: Ava Kate :)

Eve's Six Months Old!

Weight: ALMOST 16 lbs.  It was a slower growth month, but she's still gaining!

Clothes & Diapers: Eve is wearing size 2 diapers still and some 3-6 month clothes and some 6 month clothes... just depends on the weather.  If it's cold, she wears AKs 6 month hand-me-downs, if it's warm (which it has been), she wears 3-6 month hand-me-downs.  Poor girl won't have very many of her "own" clothes at this age when her sister's bday month is just 1 month off.  I have officially packed up the newborn clothes though lol.  It was time. :(

Eating & Sleeping: Eve is still a great sleeper, praise the Lord!  She had one rough night this month, but the next morning she had a tooth that had broken through.  I was shocked that she had a tooth already!  She is now eating 6 oz at 7 am, 11 am, 4 pm, and 9 pm, and we introduced solids.  Still at the "food is for fun" phase, so nothing real consistent.  She's had bananas and sweet potatoes.

Mood:  Still a sweet baby girl!

Likes: Eve likes to roll around in the floor and jump in her jumperoo thing.  She likes being talked to and singing songs.  She likes reading books with Mommy & Ava Kate and adores her sister.

Dislikes: She's starting to not love people she's not around a lot... she gets anxious and wants mommy back.  Totally normal, I know.

Milestones: first teeth! (I was shocked that they broke through already!)

Sentimental Things Mommy Wants to Remember: Everything!  Snuggles, kisses, giggles, precious outfits, smiles, shrills, and coos.

Practical Things Mommy Wants to Remember: I'm still pumping all day except the morning feed... I get just enough for the next bottle, no extra. :(

Y'ALL.  Those LEGS! #ThunderThighs #PearShaped loool

Not seeing a lot of similarities this month between sisters

Eve's Five Months Old!

Weight & Height: 15 lbs 8 oz...about what Ava Kate was at this age!  Hooray!  Not sure for height.

Clothes & Diapers:  We've transitioned to size 2 diapers and she's in 3-6 month clothes mostly.

Eating & Sleeping: Eve is still on the 5 oz bottles every 4 hours and eats at 7, 11, 3, 7, and 10 and continues to sleep through the night.  I'm still only nursing for the first feeding and pumping/bottle feeding the rest.  We will be moving to 4 feedings a day soon!  I think she's ready... it'll be so much nicer hopefully because I won't have to pump as often.

Mood: Sweet.  Eve is very flexible with our scheduling and tags along for everything.  She's very sweet and rarely get's fussy.  She's usually quiet, just taking in her surroundings, but if she does get upset... boy she is loud!

Likes: Getting tickled, having anyone talk to her, playing in the floor, baths, chewing on things

Dislikes: Hmm... can't think of anything.   She is finally starting to enjoy bath time!  Hooray!

Milestones:  First Christmas, first "big" snow/ice storm (Jan 7)

Sentimental Things Mommy Wants to Remember: aww... All of it.  I just want to soak it all up.

Look at those chunky legs!! Haha! :) 

Ava Kate vs. Eve at 5 months... AK's head is rounder, but otherwise, they look about the same size.

Game Changing Yard Sale?

We’re having a yard sale.  It’s a life changing decision for us.  Ok, well the yard sale itself isn’t so much the game-changer… it’s the journey we’re on that is.

It all started with the Possessions chapter in The Seven Experiment by Jen Hatmaker.  I’m just going to go ahead and tell you a lot of this blog post is taken from her because she sums it up far better than I can.  

Side note: Jen, (is it okay if I call you by your first name?  I hope so!), don’t sue me for copyright infringement please.  We’re working for the kingdom here.  And people will want your book after this.  Amma right?  I’m right.  Ok.  Let’s keep going.

Let me go ahead and burst your bubble (ours were bursted at the beginning of this journey).

I wish I could make that image flicker. I mean, NEWS FLASH: I’ve never had to skip a meal because there wasn’t enough money.  I live in a house with a sturdy roof and heat.  I’ve never gone a day without health insurance.  I’ve thrown away food I didn’t eat, clothes I’ve hardly worn, trash that will never disintegrate…  Have you?  If your household makes $35,000 a year, you’re in the top 4% of the world.  $50,000?  Top 1%.

We are the richest people in the world, praying to get richer.  We are blaming “those at the top” for our problems.  Making excuses for not being generous, because “I don’t make THAT much money.”  What does it communicate to the rest of the world, when half the world's population lives on $2 a day, and we can’t manage to live fulfilling lives on $25,000 a year? (taken from p. 13 with some add-ins from yours truly)

Read Matthew 19:23:

“It is easier for a CAMEL to get through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Well dang.

Pause.  Hmm.  Ok.  Well… Wow.  Let’s see here…  Hmm.  ::Scratches head::  ::Fidgets in seat::

Let me be clear that Jesus is not saying that being rich is evil.  If you read the rest of the chapter (and other parts of the Bible), you’ll understand that Jesus is saying that riches are a distraction from what matters.  Riches cause us to change what we cherish...  What we should cherish.  Therefore, it is not easy for someone who is distracted by excess and who cherishes the wrong things to get into heaven.

Alright…  so maybe I’m being a little too spiritual for you… and that’s okay.  Or maybe you’re like me and we’ve just read that so many times that we’re almost immune from its persuasion.  Then how about this?  

Hatmaker just lays it out for us on p. 80-81:

“Do we hate the gross abuses money inspires over mankind?  Do we hate the whispers of greed and entitlement we see in our children, mirror images of our own affections?  Do we hate the comparison game money feeds off of?  Do we hate the inequity that gives our kids rooms jammed with possessions while 16,000 other parents will bury their starved children today?” [::jaw drop::]

---OR----  

“Do we hate these questions?  Would we rather spin this or twist this or shove it off on other people?  [Are you coming up with reasons right now about how this doesn’t apply to us?]  Do we hate being challenged to care for the poor, since they didn’t earn this money we worked for?  Do we hate the idea of parting with things?  Do we hate being called ‘rich people?’”

Let’s make a chart (actually, Jen made it for us, and she stole it from Jesus, haha!):

So our small group asked ourselves, how can we intentionally make choices daily to fall on the right side of this spectrum?  We can sell our stuff and give to the poor.  Choose to be generous when choosing what to give.  Live below our means… I mean, we don’t need errrr-ything.  We can give.  Intentionally choose not to buy something on the premise of “I’ve worked hard, I deserve this.”  Be simple.  Share, so others can do the same.  Always err on the side of giving more if we’re not sure how much to give.  This is what we want to do… so we started purging our stuff.  For seven days we got rid of seven items a day (which is a challenge in the book)... and then we had to figure out what to do with it all.  Some of it we just threw away (i.e. expired medicine, food, make up), some of it we donated to people we knew that needed it, and the rest… we need to sell.  Enter our yard sale. :)

Disclaimer time: Are we selling our houses and downsizing so we can be more generous?  Well, no, not at this time.  Do we still buy stuff?  Yes.  Guilty!  Are we becoming extra-crunchy granola people?  Maybe, maybe not. :) :)  This is a big elephant.  We know that.  The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

So, sweet friends, dear readers, our tribes, our villages… don’t you want to join us?  Purge your excess?  Sell your stuff and give to the poor?  Or maybe you just want to go shopping at our yard sale!  Maybe you’ve been looking for a new coffee table?  Consider shopping at our yard sale and then give the money you saved by buying our super cheap stuff to someone in need.  Or maybe give someone in need $30 to come shop?  I don’t know.  We’re just over here taking bites of our elephants… will you join us?

Get rid of 7 things each day this week (or 49 things in one day - whatever!)  It’s a lot easier than you think.  Then, donate your gently used stuff to our yard sale.  See our flyer for more details:

Matthew 6:19-21 says, “Do not store up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moths and vermin destroy… [i.e. the attic].  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven [...]  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  The eye is the lamp of the body.  If your eyes are healthy [read: generous], then your whole body will be full of light.  But if your eyes are unhealthy [read: stingy] then your whole body will be full of darkness.  [...] No one can serve two masters.  Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despite the other.  You cannot serve both God and money.”

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Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

I miss you.  A lot.   A lot a lot.  So much that at times, it literally takes my breath away and I can't breathe for a minute.  I can't tell you how many times I wish I could pick up the phone and call you, or just send you a text.  Like today, I was looking through pictures and saw a picture from the last Christmas you were really with us, and I giggled.  It's a picture of you holding a candle with a smug look on your face.  It was an inside joke.  I wanted to text you about it so we could laugh together.

Speaking of candles... Ava Kate ate a birthday candle last week.  Like ATE it and then threw most of it up and said she didn't like it.  (Ugh, I know right!?!  How does that even happen??)  I panicked and the first thing I wanted to do was call you to ask what to do.  I called Poison Control instead... which was probably a better idea anyway.  She's obviously fine now.  She's the spitting image of you.  She walks just like you.  Stops and puts her hand on her hip, just like you.  Gives the side eye, just like you.  Even her little smile is just like yours.  It's actually kind of freaky sometimes, in a good kind of freaky way.

And sweet little Eve is becoming quite the little personality herself.  :) Oh how I wish you could love on them and squeeze them tight.  I wish you were here to "fight" with Mrs. Lydia over whose house they get to spend the night at next.  I wish you were here for me to go shopping with... shocking, I know.  You are pretty much the reason why I don't like to go shopping with other people.   I hated how long it took you to look at something to decide if you liked it or not... and how you would try on things "just to see," even if you didn't like it on the rack - I mean, who does that??  But I would love to spend the day with you running errands and just doing every-day-life together.  When other people complain about their moms, I just want to lecture them... I'd still complain if you were here too... but I would know in the core of my being how precious the ability to complain about your mom is.  Those little moments are sacred because you were there.

I also pretty much always think of you when someone is giving me directions (which I still suck at by the way).  All I can hear is you saying, "You just keep going, and you'll pass this on the right, and you keep going, and you'll go past that little store on the left, and then go through the stop sign and just stay straight until you get to such-in-such, and then keep going past that a little ways to the shop on the right... you know... that little shop on the right?" "Mom, I don't know what shop you're talking about." "Yes you do, that little shop.  Right there on the right.  Well anyways, just go past it.  You'll know it when you see it."  Me: Nod. Pulls up the GPS.  

I think about you when I make spaghetti.  Every time I pass Talbots.  Every time I go to Dad's.  Dad's.  Whenever I see a big TV box in the back of a truck.  And... when I see Young & the Restless. :)  Don't worry, nothing has changed -- if you watched it today, you wouldn't have missed a thing.

I cannot believe it's been five years since I heard your voice and felt your touch.  It seems like just yesterday and forever ago at the same time.  Sometimes it's hard to remember what you were like before you were sick.  Sometimes I can imagine what life would be like if you were here and not sick.  Most of the time I just feel the void of where you should be, but aren't.  I look back at pictures of wonderful, special times and can't help but remember that you're not in them.  Pictures of my daughters' births, our annual beach pictures, Weston's graduation, Amanda's wedding.  Things that I wish you were here for and grieve because you're not physically with us in those moments.

But Mom, we are doing good.  Parker and I have two beautiful girls.  Weston graduated (please, personally thank the Good Lord for that, haha).  He's wonderful - funny, generous, polite, and an amazing uncle. And Dad's doing really good too - he's so good with the girls - no surprise there.  He keeps them a lot and has still got a knack for babies.  They adore him.  :)  We miss you and think about you all the time.  Love you always.  See you again later!

xoxoxo,