Living your happily ever after.

A couple times before, Parker & I have been asked to sit on the "Married Panel" of our church's Pre-Marital session Q&A.  We're always the "young married couple" and then they have a couple middle-aged couples and one or two long-time married couples.  The marriages range from a few months to many decades and I feel like I learn just as much from the other couples' advice as those attending the pre-marital session.  Here is a collection of the best 10 tips for a good marriage that I've put together after hearing the other couples and thinking of my own marriage.

Pray together.

While having your own private time with God is also important, there is just something about hearing your spouse pray out loud for you and thank God for you.  Parker and I pray together every night before bed and it's so special because I can hear his praises and petitions to God, I can join him in those, and add my own.  We pray for each other, our family, friends, jobs, major family decisions, and ask for guidance in the next day and coming years.  It's a sweet time... and it holds us accountable.

Eat together.

I realize that this isn't always possible with some people's "passing in the night" schedules, but as best you can, try to eat your meals together.  Most mornings we eat breakfast together and every day we eat dinner together.  During that time, there aren't as many distractions (email, texts, TV, etc.) and we can talk about the upcoming day or share stories about the day.  When we eat, there are no phones (as much as possible)... unless we're showing each other something on our phone when it comes up in conversation.  It's not really the eating part that's important, but the chance to settle down and talk that is.

Go to bed together.

I know, I know.  A lot of people think this is just crazy.  What if the husband stays up late watching a game and the wife is ready for bed?  Or, what if the wife is up browsing Pinterest and the husband's exhausted?  For us, it doesn't matter.  We go to bed together every night if possible.  I might fall asleep on the couch or vice versa, but usually it goes something like "Ready for bed, babe?" "Yep!"  (It helps that we both love sleep, haha!)  Parker jokes that when we get in bed, I start talking non-stop, lol... but going to bed together gives us time to pray and then hang out for a few minutes without any distractions (no chores, no children, no TV, no phones, no work, no computer).

Greet each other.

We're not always the best at greeting each other at the door... but we both make a point to say hello as soon as one of us gets home.  Now that I think about it, I almost always say "Welcome home babe!" and Parker says "Glad to be home!" Haha!  I know that is cheesy as all get out, but I think the importance lies in the action - I stop what I'm doing for a second to acknowledge him, and he does the same.  No one wants to come home and be completely ignored!  You might need some down time to unwind without talking, hustle, and bustle... but I don't think anyone wants to be unnoticed after a long day away from home.

Dance.

Even if you're terrible at it, you should dance together.  Dance in the kitchen or on the deck... or while you brush your teeth... whenever.  Why?  Because it's fun.

Laugh a lot.

At our wedding reception, we had all the married couples participate in the anniversary dance to see who had the longest marriage.  My aunt & uncle won and the DJ asked them their advice for our new marriage: Pray together and laugh together... even if it's at yourself.  So we do... laugh at ourselves I mean... and also at each other.  Haha!  Laughing, like dancing, is also fun, so do it as much as possible.  PS.  It helps if you have a funny husband ;)

Date.

Go on dates together!  Be intentional about asking each other on dates and take them seriously.  Plan them.  Dress up for them sometimes.  Get a babysitter.  Do it regularly.  We plan kid-free date nights once a month and do family date nights sometimes as well.

Hold hands.

Because even in the silence, you can acknowledge your love and show him you're thinking about him by touching his hand... or rubbing his shoulder or playing with his hair.  This always makes me think of Chuck & Larry's marriage (you know the movie??) when they pull each other's ears as a "sign of affection." lol!!  Holding hands (etc.) is also a nice way to acknowledge your affection for each other in front of others.  Now... let's see who is going to go pull each other's ears in from of the friends. Bahahaha!!

Praise and thanksgiving.

Tell him you're thankful for him.  Better yet, tell him why you're thankful for him.  Give him compliments, as simple as "You look handsome today!" or more specific.  Even better... while you're praying together, thank God for him.  He should do the same for you... and what girl doesn't love being flattered? :)

Just leave the dishes in the sink.

Sometimes, heck, who am I kidding... OFTEN times, it's easy to get caught up in the daily minutia (wash the bottles, pack the lunches, clean up after dinner, bathe the baby, fold the laundry, etc.)  BUT, I'm a firm believer that sometimes you just need to leave the dishes in the sink so that 1) you can hang out together and 2) you can rest.  Rest = less grouchy = better spouse.  So every now and then, just let those (you fill in the blank) be.  :)

It's important to note that none of the above tips are rules... just guidelines.  While we strive to do all of them, it's not like we do them to follow "rules" we've made... it just is what we do.  It's natural to us and it seems like that is the consensus among the other married couples on the panel.  No one's marriage is perfect... but hopefully, everyone can have a happy marriage.

What advice do you have for "living your happily ever after?"

"What now Frank?"

Squirrel Update:

This week, after hearing the squirrel every morning about 6:30 or 7:00, we started wondering what kind of squirrel can live in a chimney for over a week without dying (?!?!?!?!) and how is it possible that our neighbors haven't heard it yet (!?!?!?)

We were walking to the car one night and I saw a squirrel on the roof.  I said, "Wouldn't it be weird if the squirrel was just nesting up there?  I mean, maybe the HOA did secure a net to keep squirrels out of the chimney and he's just setting up camp on it."

Fast forward a day or two.  We noticed one of the rungs on the chimney vent (Is that what it's called?) has been broken off.  THEN we saw a squirrel climbing in and out of it!

Later, he tries to put a MONSTER stick in it - bang, bang, bang.  (THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE DOING AT 6:30 IN THE MORNING!?!?!?)

We caught him on camera! 

After finding out the squirrel's little secret, Parker named him Frank.  He has frequently gone outside to spy on Frank and yell, "Get outta here Frank!  Go on now!"  But, because Frank is not a good listener, we called our Homeowner's Association.

HOA's response: "Well we don't remove squirrels, we just take care of the outside of the building."

Parker: "Yes, but a squirrel is nesting in our chimney which has a broken vent on the outside of our building."

HOA:  "Well, we'll see what we can do about it."

Parker: "Thank you.  Please don't fix it without removing the squirrel first."  (haha)

(Yes, we felt the need to request the last statement since our HOA likes to make it clear that they just take care of the outside of the building - remember last time?)

That was yesterday.  Today we were waiting for HOA to send someone to fix it and when we came home at lunch, we found this:

HE IS TEARING UP OUR OUTDOOR FURNITURE PILLOWS TO GET STUFFING FOR HIS NEST!!!!!


UGHH!!  WHY FRANK?  WHY?

But don't worry HOA, we removed the squirrel for you.

Parker trapped him and is going to relocate him.  I texted him the picture above to let him know we got Frank and I loved his response:

Squirrel Repeat

Yesterday morning, Parker and I awoke to what sounded like another squirrel in the chimney.  It was really noisy like last time, and Parker jokingly said it must be the rain again.  (If you haven't heard about our first squirrel episode, read about it here - it is truly a funny story!)  Anyway, we got ready and went to church.  When we came back home, we didn't hear a squirrel for a while... until about 5:00.

So, we called Parker's brother, Preston, over to help and we set up the living room.

We definitely learned from last time.  We turned all our furniture on its side and made a clear path to the door.  We secured a blanket under the couch to prevent the squirrel from running under it again.  We were all ready to go when the guys opened the chimney flue and then...

Nothing.  There was no squirrel!  The guys looked all the way in the chimney and there wasn't a squirrel!  The best we can guess is that the squirrel is in our downstairs neighbors' chimney.  Our chimney is supposed to have a cap/net/thing over it after last time, so we technically shouldn't have a squirrel in our chimney.

That being said... our neighbors are in Florida.  They are coming home today to a squirrel living in their chimney.  He hasn't stirred lately, but when he does get to scratching and climbing, it is FREAKY!  Lucky for them, they have neighbors who are masters at squirrel removal.  LOL!

What have we been up to?

So, welcome to my new blog!  I hope you like it as much as I do!  There are a few tweaks I want to take care of, but I think it looks good enough to reveal!  All of my old blog posts are here - the only thing that is different is the new address and the new design.

I guess I should update you on what's been happening lately.  Things have been fairly uneventful, but extremely fast-paced!  If time truly moves faster the older you get, I do not want to get any older (yet).  Things are moving fast enough for me now!

January & February are still a bit of a blur.  We began learning how to live without Mom and I started a new semester of students at school.  I LOVED last semester's students and this year has turned out to be awesome.  I can't believe the 1st year is in the books already!

In March, my Aunt Debbie (Dad's sister) passed away after battling breast cancer.  It was difficult, but nothing in comparison to losing Mom.  It was the first time any of us went to Mom's grave since the funeral.  THAT was hard.  But, God always provide comic relief - while we were there, we ran into a man Dad knew.  He had brought his girlfriend to visit his wife's grave... I'm thinking that wasn't the best date idea I've ever heard.  I'm glad the lady was so supportive though.

In April, Parker & I went backpacking with our youth group.  We went in high school and loved it, so we decided to go again.  It was definitely not as easy as it use to be, but we had an awesome time.

This is at the top of Black Balsam Knob in the Pisgah National Park.  It was EXTREMELY windy.  In fact, when we weren't standing taking pictures, we hid behind a rock to block the wind while we waited for the rest of the gang to catch up.  Haha!

The weather was fantastic!  The first time we went, it rained, sleeted, and snowed.  The second time I went, it rained and rained and rained and was FREEZING.  This time, it didn't rain at all and it was only cold the last night.  If you've never been backpacking, you probably have some questions.  Yes you are in the mountains the whole time - no shower, no toilet, no grills.  You pack everything you need in in your pack - sleeping bag, a change of clothes (meaning, one set of dry clothes), food, tent, stove, water pump, water bottles...  Hike all day, get to camp, set up tent, pump water, cook, eat, hang out, sleep, repeat.

This was the view from the hardest climb.  It was like 2000 feet up in a mile or so (with a pack on your back).  The view at the end was gorgeous, but the climb was fierce.  We appropriately named it "Hell Hill" and I'm not really sure what the real name of it is.

The whole crew at the top of Black Balsam Knob.  We had several first timers and they did so good!  I love that our church does this with the youth group!  I think we did about 25 miles in 3.5 days this year. 

Also in April, we found out that one of my best friends, Roman, is going to medical school!  I'm so proud of her!  She is moving to Nashville and we're going to miss her so much!  She is going to be an AWESOME doctor!  Amanda & Cory came over for dinner that night and we ate a Food Lion cake in her honor!  :)

May was a BUSY month, particularly the last 2 weeks of May.

Dad's birthday was the 18th and my cousin's son, Walker's birthday party was the 19th.  It was the first time the whole family had gotten together since Mom & Aunt Debbie died.  I love the pictures below, because they depict a healing family so perfectly. 

The Birthday boy!

Then at the beginning of June, we got together again for my other cousin's triplet's birthday.  The void is definitely there, but we are healing.

So that's about all we've been up to besides the day-to-day work, making a home together, spending time with friends, and family.  I am thrilled that summer is here and I'll have time to get back to being crafty and blogging again.

I loved my first year teaching, but there was no time for blogging between that, coaching, Mom, church stuff, and learning to be a wife.  Next year, I won't be coaching, which is bittersweet, but I definitely have made the right decision.  Hopefully I will have more time for God, my family, and myself.  Thanks for being patient! :)

Hurricane Irene

So our first two months of marriage have been an adventure! Hurricane Irene hit this past weekend and she was not so nice. We started getting rain and wind Friday night, and around 3 o'clock Saturday afternoon, Parker & I heard what we thought was the sink running. Not dripping, but running. Well... it wasn't the sink, it was our bedroom ceiling.

We moved everything out of our bedroom (our clothes, 2 month old matress set, etc.) and put trash bags, towels, and buckets everywhere. Our neighbors came over and helped. We poked holes in the ceiling (omg I just realized I wrote "poaked" on facebook...)

It was pretty much a nightmare. Did I mention that it continued to rain for 6 more hours?

Sunday morning I ventured out to survey the damage... This is the view behind us.

To the front right of us:

Oh, this is the enormous limb that caused a hole in our roof:

Our ceiling is sinking... and cracking... and will probably fall in the floor.

The front of our building:

A home down the street :(

The roof was fixed this afternoon, but they probably won't be able to fix the ceiling until next week!  Please pray that it'll hold until then!!  I'm so thankful that it wasn't worse!  We are super blessed!

The Story of Mr. Squirrel

Well let's see...  Yesterday morning about 6 or 6:30, I woke up to a loud ruckus.  I got out of bed and went to the window to see what was going on, but I didn't see anything.  I realized the noise was coming from our chimney, so I went back to bed and woke up Parker.  "Hey babe, I think something is in our chimney."  His response, "Is it raining?"

[Um,  No.  That's not rain.]  Then he rolled over and closed his eyes again.  Hello?  There is something in our chimney!  About ten minutes later, we heard boom a loom a loom boom boom boom BOOOMM.  Holy crap, what was that?  THEN, Parker got out of bed to check out the situation.  :) I love you honey!

Whatever it was, it was stunned and didn't move for a while.  Later, we heard scratching and clawing.  We figured it was a squirrel because anyone who's been to our house knows about the crazy squirrels we have around here thanks to our old lady neighbor who FEEDS and NAMES them.  Shaking my head.

Well, we called around - Homeowner's Association, Animal Control, Pest Removal - apparently, no one "deals" with this kind of situation.  It's okay though, because Parker decided to take it on himself.

Plan A:

If you can't tell, that's Parker attempting to open the draft with a string, causing the squirrel to fall in "this here" box, followed by Parker putting the top on the box and carefully removing said squirrel.  Oh, and me watching from the guest bedroom with the door cracked. Hahaha!

Well, Plan A didn't work, so we called some folks we thought might have experience with this type of situation.  Parker came up with Plan B: To Smoke His Tail Out of There.

So, with a Rubbermaid storage container lid to "steer him out" and the front door wide open, he started a fire in the fireplace.  A HUGE FIRE, which did smoke his tail out of there - in fact, Mr. Squirrel came darting out of the fireplace WITH HIS TAIL ON FIRE!  AND, instead of running out the open front door, he ran around the house!

Okay, let's back up a second.  We read online that if you shut all the other room doors and turn out all the lights except where you want the squirrel to go, the squirrel will follow the light.  LIES.  Not true at all.

Mr. Squirrel ran under the couch, under the table, under the couch, under the table, around the living room... Parker searched everywhere until finally, he was convinced that Mr. Squirrel must have snuck out the front door.  The problem was that I hadn't seen our friend crawl out the front door, so I wasn't ready to come out of the guest bedroom.

Lucky for us, my doubts caused Parker to "prove" to me the squirrel wasn't in the house by checking everything one last time.  The sneaky little fellow was behind the TV stand.  :)

Then he ran under a table causing the book The Prayer of Jabez to fall in the floor.  Parker slid the book at the squirrel and finally he ran out the door.  Charred tail and all.

God works in mysterious ways.  Thank the Lord for The Prayer of Jabez.

Our living room afterwards:

 There was blood and soot everywhere!  It took half an hour to clean up.  Good times.

My hero, my husband:

Husband of the Year Award?  I think so.