Living your happily ever after.

A couple times before, Parker & I have been asked to sit on the "Married Panel" of our church's Pre-Marital session Q&A.  We're always the "young married couple" and then they have a couple middle-aged couples and one or two long-time married couples.  The marriages range from a few months to many decades and I feel like I learn just as much from the other couples' advice as those attending the pre-marital session.  Here is a collection of the best 10 tips for a good marriage that I've put together after hearing the other couples and thinking of my own marriage.

Pray together.

While having your own private time with God is also important, there is just something about hearing your spouse pray out loud for you and thank God for you.  Parker and I pray together every night before bed and it's so special because I can hear his praises and petitions to God, I can join him in those, and add my own.  We pray for each other, our family, friends, jobs, major family decisions, and ask for guidance in the next day and coming years.  It's a sweet time... and it holds us accountable.

Eat together.

I realize that this isn't always possible with some people's "passing in the night" schedules, but as best you can, try to eat your meals together.  Most mornings we eat breakfast together and every day we eat dinner together.  During that time, there aren't as many distractions (email, texts, TV, etc.) and we can talk about the upcoming day or share stories about the day.  When we eat, there are no phones (as much as possible)... unless we're showing each other something on our phone when it comes up in conversation.  It's not really the eating part that's important, but the chance to settle down and talk that is.

Go to bed together.

I know, I know.  A lot of people think this is just crazy.  What if the husband stays up late watching a game and the wife is ready for bed?  Or, what if the wife is up browsing Pinterest and the husband's exhausted?  For us, it doesn't matter.  We go to bed together every night if possible.  I might fall asleep on the couch or vice versa, but usually it goes something like "Ready for bed, babe?" "Yep!"  (It helps that we both love sleep, haha!)  Parker jokes that when we get in bed, I start talking non-stop, lol... but going to bed together gives us time to pray and then hang out for a few minutes without any distractions (no chores, no children, no TV, no phones, no work, no computer).

Greet each other.

We're not always the best at greeting each other at the door... but we both make a point to say hello as soon as one of us gets home.  Now that I think about it, I almost always say "Welcome home babe!" and Parker says "Glad to be home!" Haha!  I know that is cheesy as all get out, but I think the importance lies in the action - I stop what I'm doing for a second to acknowledge him, and he does the same.  No one wants to come home and be completely ignored!  You might need some down time to unwind without talking, hustle, and bustle... but I don't think anyone wants to be unnoticed after a long day away from home.

Dance.

Even if you're terrible at it, you should dance together.  Dance in the kitchen or on the deck... or while you brush your teeth... whenever.  Why?  Because it's fun.

Laugh a lot.

At our wedding reception, we had all the married couples participate in the anniversary dance to see who had the longest marriage.  My aunt & uncle won and the DJ asked them their advice for our new marriage: Pray together and laugh together... even if it's at yourself.  So we do... laugh at ourselves I mean... and also at each other.  Haha!  Laughing, like dancing, is also fun, so do it as much as possible.  PS.  It helps if you have a funny husband ;)

Date.

Go on dates together!  Be intentional about asking each other on dates and take them seriously.  Plan them.  Dress up for them sometimes.  Get a babysitter.  Do it regularly.  We plan kid-free date nights once a month and do family date nights sometimes as well.

Hold hands.

Because even in the silence, you can acknowledge your love and show him you're thinking about him by touching his hand... or rubbing his shoulder or playing with his hair.  This always makes me think of Chuck & Larry's marriage (you know the movie??) when they pull each other's ears as a "sign of affection." lol!!  Holding hands (etc.) is also a nice way to acknowledge your affection for each other in front of others.  Now... let's see who is going to go pull each other's ears in from of the friends. Bahahaha!!

Praise and thanksgiving.

Tell him you're thankful for him.  Better yet, tell him why you're thankful for him.  Give him compliments, as simple as "You look handsome today!" or more specific.  Even better... while you're praying together, thank God for him.  He should do the same for you... and what girl doesn't love being flattered? :)

Just leave the dishes in the sink.

Sometimes, heck, who am I kidding... OFTEN times, it's easy to get caught up in the daily minutia (wash the bottles, pack the lunches, clean up after dinner, bathe the baby, fold the laundry, etc.)  BUT, I'm a firm believer that sometimes you just need to leave the dishes in the sink so that 1) you can hang out together and 2) you can rest.  Rest = less grouchy = better spouse.  So every now and then, just let those (you fill in the blank) be.  :)

It's important to note that none of the above tips are rules... just guidelines.  While we strive to do all of them, it's not like we do them to follow "rules" we've made... it just is what we do.  It's natural to us and it seems like that is the consensus among the other married couples on the panel.  No one's marriage is perfect... but hopefully, everyone can have a happy marriage.

What advice do you have for "living your happily ever after?"

20 Must Haves for Your Wedding Registry

So, one of my coworkers is getting married (well actually 3 are), but one of them asked for a list of things to register for on her bridal registry.  My opinion on this changes depending on what stage of life we're in, but most people my age have been living on their own for many years, so they already have most of the necessities that go on a registry.  So, this got me thinking... what are some of the must haves?

You already know my opinion on fine china... Most of us will never use it, and if we need some, most likely we've inherited a set or two (I know I have!)  But, what other things should you be sure to have as you "grow up" to adulthood?  Ha... Who am I kidding?  I still don't feel like I've reached adulthood sometimes!

Without further ado... I present to you,

Items for Entertaining

These are items that you'll wish you had once you start playing the role of baby/bridal shower, Thanksgiving, or dinner party host & hostess.

1.  Sets of place settings, silverware, glasses, etc. to host at least 8 people -- It's a sad day when you have 6 nice plates and 8 guests.  #who'sgoingtoeatoffSuperman?  #I'vegottheCarolinacup

2.  A nice butter dish -- Everything looks fancy until you bring out a stick of butter with no dish.

3.  Nice salt & pepper shakers -- See above... don't pull out the plastic shakers from the grocery store when you're using your matching dishes.  #partyfoul

4.  A lot of matching serving sets (chip & dip trays, platters, bowls, tiered displays, etc.) -- I recommend going with a neutral color like silver, white, or cream so that they'll match whatever color scheme you have for your future parties, kitchen, or holiday decor.

5.  An electric carving knife -- Hosting your first Thanksgiving dinner can be stressful by itself... don't wait until it's time to cut the perfectly cooked turkey you slaved prayed over to realize you don't have an appropriate knife like this one.  While you're at it, don't forget the kitchen claws!

6.  Punch bowl & ladle  -- I recommend this one because it can be a cake stand, punch bowl, salad bowl, chip & dip server, and about 500 other things all in one.  Better yet, register for two just in case you want to serve punch and cake.

Monogrammed Everything

So, maybe not monogrammed everything, but your wedding is the perfect time to get monogrammed gifts!  Of course, you don't want your entire house to be monogrammed (or maybe you do), but here are some suggestions.

7.  Towels -- Whether monogrammed or not, who doesn't like new, fluffy towels?  Throw in some dish towels as well!  Everyone needs new towels at some point!

8.  Coasters -- I know this seems silly, but our monogrammed coasters are probably one of the most used wedding gifts we have.  Plus, I love how they look on our coffee table.

9.  Sheets, duvet cover, pillow cases -- Again, whether these are monogrammed or not, now's a great time to spruce up your bedroom with fresh linens.  Even if you don't need them now, tuck them away, because in a few years you can replace your current ones with a new set.

10.  Picnic basket -- Who doesn't love a good picnic basket?  Even if you're not taking it on a picnic (but hey, that could be a fun, inexpensive date!) you'll use it for family reunions, carrying meals to friends when they have babies, etc.

11.  Cutting board -- Picture it as kitchen decor or use it as a fancy, yet functional display for cheese & cracker hors d'oeuvres.

Things for Him

Don't leave your handsome fella' out of the mix!  Some random nice things he might like to have as he enters this stage of life include...

12.  A nice grill -- "Come on over!  We'll throw some steaks on the grill pan" doesn't sound as fun as "We'll throw some steaks on the grill" ... just sayin'  :)

13.  A wet vac -- Let him feel like the manly hero when your neighbor (or you!) end up with a busted pipe or leaking roof and there's a random need for a wet vac.

14.  A nice tool set -- See above... except insert your own scenario.

15.  Ladder -- Because every family needs a ladder.

Other

Last but not least, five other random favorites that all couples should have in their life.

16.  Matching luggage set -- For your honeymoon of course!

17.  Lots and lots of cute storage baskets -- Every time I open Pinterest looking for quick "organize your ____" ideas, I always fall in love with the baskets.  Baskets for your laundry room, baskets for you kitchen, for your hall closet, for your bathroom, for your master closet... for the coffee table... something cute to store all your stuff.

18.  Seasonal decor -- Christmas decorations & ornaments, Easter decorations, 4th of July decorations... everyone loves decorating for holidays!  Get your decor on girl! :)

19.  A casserole dish carrier or three -- Get a cute one for tailgating or for family reunions, we all need them at some point!

20.  My fave.... a Mr. Coffee Teamaker.  You have to get one.  Enough said.

What would you add to this list of wedding registry "must haves" for folks that've been out on their own already?

Our Wedding - Do's & Don'ts Advice

Okay, last wedding post!  Since I had so many lovely ladies give me advice for planning, I wanted to share some things that we thought were useful and things we wish we'd known.

I can honestly say that I loved our wedding day.  The only thing that I'd change is the photographer.  It was sentimental, but not cheezy, and affordable, without being cheap.  It was about God and celebrating the beginning of our marriage.

1.  It should be about God and glorifying Him as you start your marriage.  It is a worship service in which you and your friends and family can praise Him and pray for your marriage.

2.  Definitely wait a night or two before leaving for your honeymoon!  That was advice we got from a couple of newlyweds and we're so glad we listened!  Near the end of the reception, I remember talking to Carrie and Amanda and saying, "I am SO tired!"  Thank goodness we did not have a 3 hour car ride to a hotel or plane to catch!  We spent our first night together at our home, which was perfectly romantic and sentimental (not to mention practical)!  We didn't have to pack for our honeymoon before the wedding and worry about forgetting something!  We slept in the next morning and took our time getting ready and packing.  We spent the night in Raleigh Sunday night and flew to Jamaica on Monday morning.

3. Get the ring, set a date, and then BUDGET.  Budget for every possible cost and then do not go over budget.  We budgeted $10,000 and we came in under budget.  Why?  Because when we went to buy something, we knew how much we had to spend and then tried to spend less if possible.  I think we went over budget on 2 things and we more than made up for it in other places.  I did a post on things to include in the budget if you need a starting point.  Do NOT go into debt for your wedding or honeymoon - that is so dumb and not worth it.  Be resourceful.  :)

4. Book vendors early!  There is an advantage to booking as soon as possible.  One, you don't have to worry about not getting your first choice.  Two, some vendors might go up on their price before your wedding, but if you have a contract, you're golden!  We know that at least one of our vendors went up on prices soon after we booked him. And three, you can spread your expenses over several months so that you're not spending your whole budget all at once.

5.  Resarch, research, research.  If you have a certain amount budgeted for something, do not cave!  I did a lot of research on locations for the reception, DJs, tablecloths, etc.  It definitely pays off.

6.  If you don't care about real flowers, do "faux" bouquets as Avis calls them.  Seriously, real bouquets average from $50-$150.  We did 5 bridesmaid bouquets for about $100 total.  I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.  Definitely worth it.  Other than the 20 minute ceremony - when does anyone even look at the bouquets?  You can't tell the difference in pictures if you do them right.

7.  Do a photo guestbook and have guests sign it yearbook style.  It was a hit and we use it as a coffee table book.  If you go to David's Bridal (even if it's just to look) and fill out a form, they email you a coupon to get a free Shutterfly book - you just pay shipping.  Our guestbook costs us less than $6.  This plain, non-sentimental thing costs $12 + tax + shipping.  SMH.

8.  Do NOT buy stamps until the day you put them on the invitations and mail them.  I was out one day and decided to go ahead and buy stamps.  (This was like 2 weeks before mailing them, mind you.)  Before buying them I explicitly said, "I will not be mailing these for 2 more weeks, will you be going up on stamps?"  Answer: "Oh no, we are not supposed to go up on stamps any time soon."  I handed over the invitation to get it weighed (make sure you take a stuffed invitation so you can get the right size stamp) and paid for 100+ stamps.  Two weeks later, I took my bag of freshly stamped invitations to the same post office and talked to the same lady.  Lo and behold, the price of that size stamp had gone up ONE cent.  It took a lot of Christian grace my friends...  In the end, we had a nice patriotic touch added to our invitations - a cute wedding cake and a 1 cent flag stamp.  I'm so glad the government could profit one extra dollar from the Morgan wedding invitations.  Sarcasm.

9.  Do have a themed rehearsal dinner.  Parker's brother & sister-in-law did a western theme (we wore jeans, boots, hats, and plaid shirts) and we did a luau (Hawaiian shirts for guys, tropical sun dresses for girls, flip flops and leis for all).  It takes the "formalness" pressure off of everyone and is much more relaxing and fun!  It helps with decorations too!

10.  Don't stress.  Don't go through life (or wedding planning) stressing about things.  In the end, you will be married and have a good time.  Oopsy-daiseys and accidents make great stories.  The only stressful part in my opinion was the guest list.  My mom had 185 people on her first list.  Our budget/location allowed for 200 people total.  If you haven't talked to them in five years OR if both the bride and groom haven't MET the person, they don't need an invite.  It might hurt some feelings, but again... you will still be married, God will be glorified, and everyone will have a good time whether "You know Johnny - he's Susie's cousin's second husband's son" is there or not.

Our Wedding - Vendors Review

So we used several vendors for our wedding and I know that we have several friends that are engaged or soon-to-be-engaged, so I thought I'd do a "vendor review."  Please know that I'm being honest because that's what I would want you to be and I do not mean to offend anyone!

Allison Phelps at Vanilla Bean Bakery did our cake.  It was gorgeous and delicious.  It was completely affordable and we got so many compliments.  She came to our house for a cake tasting and she delivers/sets up the cake herself.  She is super friendly and easy to work with.  I would definitely recommend her!

I got my dress from Stacy at AVA Formals.  I LOVE her.  We bought all four of my prom dresses from her when I was in high school.  She will customize your dress/veil and she will make sure you look stunning.  She said that she would bring the dresses (my mom's dress was from there too) to us if she had to, and I know that she would.  Some dresses were a bit pricey, but mine came in below budget!  She is in Little Washington (that's the town in NC) and I highly recommend her!

We got the bridesmaid dresses from David's Bridal.  I really loved them and wish I had one of my own!  These dresses had pockets y'all!  I don't love David's Bridal - they are a bit pushy and standardized, but I love these dresses and David's Bridals are everywhere.

Our wedding planner was Avis.  She is stunning and made our reception stunning.  She is such a graceful, enthusiastic, caring, tell-it-like-it-is, resourceful, gorgeous woman!  Her husband was my boss at the pharmacy and they go to church with us.  She always wanted to do something for my mom and this was her gift to us and Mom.  She is awesome!

We had our rehearsal dinner at Rep Express.  They are great to work with!  It's a family-owned business and they cater all kinds of events.  Their food is delicious and their prices are great.  You can have the event in their building (which we did) or they'll cater at your location.  It is perfect for about 20-30 people and let me just reiterate - the food is deeelicioussssss!

The tuxedos were from Steinbecks.  All of Parker's tuxedos for prom were from Steinbecks, which is a local men's clothing store.  They are great and call you by name when you come in.  They have a pretty big selection and the groom gets his tux free with the rental of 5 (I think) groomsmen tuxes.  I'd definitely recommend them!

We ordered our tablecloths from Linen Tablecloths.  They were delivered quickly and were in great condition.  You can ALWAYS find deals on their website or get coupon codes (check out their Twitter page).  I did a lot of research on tablecloths and you can't rent them as cheap as you can buy them on this website.  You are crazy not to order them from here if you have to get them for an event.  We opted to go with the 120" round tablecloths which did not reach the floor (the size we needed to reach the floor did not have the color we wanted) and it worked just fine!  Now we have about 25 light blue tablecloths washed and ready for resale if anyone is interested! :)

We had our reception at the Pitt County Shrine Club.  It is very affordable and the people are great to work with.  We liked the idea of having it there because the proceeds go to the Children's Hospital.  It isn't the most gorgeous place for a reception, but with the right decorations/people you can make it pretty awesome AND you're not going to pay $2000 + the cost of food.  The cost was much more affordable and it went to a good cause!  The food was awesome as well!

Our DJ was Steven Dail from Out of this World Entertainment.  He is super friendly and easy to get along with!  He is very professional and experienced and has weddings down to a science.  We did not have to worry about anything - he knew when to introduce us, do first dances, cut the cake, get everyone up and dancing, and call it a night.  He gets people involved but doesn't talk your ears off like other DJs.  We had him at our wedding and then 2 weeks later as a DJ at a friend's wedding.  He did great both times.  He was very affordable (he may have gone up on his prices since we booked him).  You should book him as soon as possible because he does a lot of events!

Our photographer was Les Atkins from Les Atkins Photography. He is nice and has a lot of experience. He has packages for you to choose from and several examples of his work. He is from Roanoke Rapids, NC. He takes A LOT of pictures and you should certainly have some that you like.  The package we chose also includes an engagement and bridal session AND CDs with all of your pictures (very important).  However, most photographers these days include a CD with your pictures in the cost.  Considering his location and prices, I would opt for a more local photographer if I had to re-do it. We definitely have a bunch of pictures to look back on, which I like, but some of the posed pictures aren't my favorite. 

We did our own bouquets and I'd do that all over again.  Real flowers are ex-pen-sive.  We hit up Michael's and AC Moore for everything we needed and I have a post about how to DIY bouquets if you're interested.

We opted to get the boutonnieres and corsages from a florist.  We got them from All About Flowers in Robersonville, NC (not too far away).  They were simple and perfect and seriously less that $6 a boutonniere!  And they delivered for $10!  You are not going to find a more affordable florist.  They are super friendly and aim to please.  Other local florists start at like $10-15 for a boutonniere and like $20-25 for a corsage.  (They think very highly of their very simple flowers.  Most people in Greenville are going to go with the big names in town when it comes to flowers - Cox Florist or Jefferson's for example... not that anything is wrong with them, but if you can get the same thing for half the price... don't be foolish!)  Go with All About Flowers, it is definitely the best.  Just saying.

Last but not least, we got our invitations from Morgan Printers!  Obviously, I might be a little bias, but they are awesome!  It's a local family-owned business that can take care of all of your printing needs.  If you find something you like, but it doesn't work just perfect like you want - tell them!  Unlike Vista Print and other standardized printing shops, Morgan Printers will customize their products to fit what you want!  Whatever it is, they can make it happen!  For example, the invitations that we chose only had room for 6 lines of text but we needed 7.  They fixed it.  We also did a map instead of directions on the directions card.  They can also make up a draft so that you can view your invitation before you order.  They proof read your order so that you won't realize a mistake after it's too late.  Seriously, call them and you won't get a machine, you'll get a person who wants to work with you to get you what you want.  They are a business that works to serve God, believes in the importance of family, gives back to the community, and wants to get you whatever you're looking for!  And hello?  The invitations are gorgeous!

 If you have any questions about anything - let me know!  I'm an open book and would love to help!

Our Wedding - Favorite Details

I guess it's about time to tell you about all the details I loved about our wedding.  Let's pretend that it hasn't been almost a year :) haha!

I loved that the weather was gorgeous, although it was a bit warm.  Our church was beautiful and full of our closest friends and family.

My bouquet had 8 white roses - one for each year that we dated, and was wrapped in ribbon that was on my Mom's bridal bouquet.  I wanted to wear her veil, but it wasn't as white as my dress.  Instead, I wore her pearls, her garter, and used her bouquet ribbon.

The pearls were old, the veil was new, the hair piece was borrowed from Candice, the garter was blue, and a six pence was taped in my shoe (and still is haha).

I also loved the guestbook that we pull out from time to time to look at.  Definitely worth the $5 or so it cost to ship it!

For the cake knives, we used one from Parker's parents' wedding and one from my parents' wedding.  They were mixed matched, but it went with the theme.  Also, you can kind of see our "country wine glasses," which we used to toast.  :)

Other details:

Those letters now hang above our bed.  And the pictures below of our parents and grandparents are on our living room wall.

  3 of the hundreds (literally) mason jars...

I also loved that we had fried chicken with green beans, boiled potatoes, bread, and sweet tea!  It was delicious and we still get compliments on the food!

Those are only some of the details that we had and loved.  Tomorrow I'll do a review on our "vendors" for all of you soon-to-be-brides.

Our Wedding - Mom

This post doesn't have much to do with the wedding.  As I was flipping through wedding pictures, a few of my mom caught my attention.  I just want to take some time to remember how beautiful, graceful, and happy she was at our wedding.  I am so thankful that we made these memories and have pictures to document them.  You might think I'm indulging myself in sappy time, but I don't care.  These are good pictures of my mom and I want to remember her like this.  I want to forget how she looked when she was having seizures or dying - she didn't look anything like herself then.  These pictures remind me of her laugh and her smile and her touch, something I'm convinced that only people who have lost one of the most important people in their lives can understand.

Moments and pictures that I prayed for and will always treasure...

What a great mom and dad! :)

Our Wedding - Favorite Moments

I've totally neglected to post wedding stuff, so here we go almost a year later.

Here are some pictures of some of my favorite moments.

This is Ms. Lamm.  She babysat me from the time Mom went back to work after maternity leave until I was like 12 years old.  Her and her husband were like grandparents to me when I was growing up, so we thought it would be appropriate to sit her with our grandparents.

My sweet Grandma Margie, looking gorgeous in pink.  She is the ideal mother and grandmother, I hope that I can be half as good of a cook, mother, and grandmother as she is.

Pretty much every moment with Weston was a hoot.  First of all, does he look handsome in a tux or what?  He had everyone laughing the whole day.

We had the DJ do a longest marriage dance.  All of the married couples got on the dance floor and the DJ would excuse couples from the dance floor who hadn't been married for a week (us), month, year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, etc. until the longest married couple was still dancing.  My Aunt Kay & Uncle Ricky won and their advice was to "Pray a lot and laugh at yourselves" something that we definitely have taken to heart.

My cousin Rebecca played the piano and Beaty & Carrie sang "Be Thou My Vision" when the grandparents walked in and the parents lighted the unity candle.  They also sang "When I Say I Do" when we lit the unity candle and prayed together.

I always said that if I could get through the part where Dad gives me away without crying, then I wouldn't cry.  I was right!  I didn't cry, not even when we were pronounced husband and wife and faced our friends and family and I could see Dad's teary eyes.  I love my Dad so much, and I will always be a Daddy's girl.

Dad and I danced to "Going to Carolina in my Mind" by James Taylor.  It wasn't as entertaining as "Bohemian Rhapsody" (Dad's suggestion) would've been, but still very sweet.

Praying with some of my favorite women.

When the doors opened and I could see Parker waiting for me was a special moment.  Finally!!

 Our first kiss as husband and wife!

Parker and I shagged to "With this Ring" for our first dance as husband and wife, and it was great.  It's pretty hard to shag in a wedding dress, but totally more fun when it's with your husband.