Game Changing Yard Sale?

We’re having a yard sale.  It’s a life changing decision for us.  Ok, well the yard sale itself isn’t so much the game-changer… it’s the journey we’re on that is.

It all started with the Possessions chapter in The Seven Experiment by Jen Hatmaker.  I’m just going to go ahead and tell you a lot of this blog post is taken from her because she sums it up far better than I can.  

Side note: Jen, (is it okay if I call you by your first name?  I hope so!), don’t sue me for copyright infringement please.  We’re working for the kingdom here.  And people will want your book after this.  Amma right?  I’m right.  Ok.  Let’s keep going.

Let me go ahead and burst your bubble (ours were bursted at the beginning of this journey).

I wish I could make that image flicker. I mean, NEWS FLASH: I’ve never had to skip a meal because there wasn’t enough money.  I live in a house with a sturdy roof and heat.  I’ve never gone a day without health insurance.  I’ve thrown away food I didn’t eat, clothes I’ve hardly worn, trash that will never disintegrate…  Have you?  If your household makes $35,000 a year, you’re in the top 4% of the world.  $50,000?  Top 1%.

We are the richest people in the world, praying to get richer.  We are blaming “those at the top” for our problems.  Making excuses for not being generous, because “I don’t make THAT much money.”  What does it communicate to the rest of the world, when half the world's population lives on $2 a day, and we can’t manage to live fulfilling lives on $25,000 a year? (taken from p. 13 with some add-ins from yours truly)

Read Matthew 19:23:

“It is easier for a CAMEL to get through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Well dang.

Pause.  Hmm.  Ok.  Well… Wow.  Let’s see here…  Hmm.  ::Scratches head::  ::Fidgets in seat::

Let me be clear that Jesus is not saying that being rich is evil.  If you read the rest of the chapter (and other parts of the Bible), you’ll understand that Jesus is saying that riches are a distraction from what matters.  Riches cause us to change what we cherish...  What we should cherish.  Therefore, it is not easy for someone who is distracted by excess and who cherishes the wrong things to get into heaven.

Alright…  so maybe I’m being a little too spiritual for you… and that’s okay.  Or maybe you’re like me and we’ve just read that so many times that we’re almost immune from its persuasion.  Then how about this?  

Hatmaker just lays it out for us on p. 80-81:

“Do we hate the gross abuses money inspires over mankind?  Do we hate the whispers of greed and entitlement we see in our children, mirror images of our own affections?  Do we hate the comparison game money feeds off of?  Do we hate the inequity that gives our kids rooms jammed with possessions while 16,000 other parents will bury their starved children today?” [::jaw drop::]

---OR----  

“Do we hate these questions?  Would we rather spin this or twist this or shove it off on other people?  [Are you coming up with reasons right now about how this doesn’t apply to us?]  Do we hate being challenged to care for the poor, since they didn’t earn this money we worked for?  Do we hate the idea of parting with things?  Do we hate being called ‘rich people?’”

Let’s make a chart (actually, Jen made it for us, and she stole it from Jesus, haha!):

So our small group asked ourselves, how can we intentionally make choices daily to fall on the right side of this spectrum?  We can sell our stuff and give to the poor.  Choose to be generous when choosing what to give.  Live below our means… I mean, we don’t need errrr-ything.  We can give.  Intentionally choose not to buy something on the premise of “I’ve worked hard, I deserve this.”  Be simple.  Share, so others can do the same.  Always err on the side of giving more if we’re not sure how much to give.  This is what we want to do… so we started purging our stuff.  For seven days we got rid of seven items a day (which is a challenge in the book)... and then we had to figure out what to do with it all.  Some of it we just threw away (i.e. expired medicine, food, make up), some of it we donated to people we knew that needed it, and the rest… we need to sell.  Enter our yard sale. :)

Disclaimer time: Are we selling our houses and downsizing so we can be more generous?  Well, no, not at this time.  Do we still buy stuff?  Yes.  Guilty!  Are we becoming extra-crunchy granola people?  Maybe, maybe not. :) :)  This is a big elephant.  We know that.  The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

So, sweet friends, dear readers, our tribes, our villages… don’t you want to join us?  Purge your excess?  Sell your stuff and give to the poor?  Or maybe you just want to go shopping at our yard sale!  Maybe you’ve been looking for a new coffee table?  Consider shopping at our yard sale and then give the money you saved by buying our super cheap stuff to someone in need.  Or maybe give someone in need $30 to come shop?  I don’t know.  We’re just over here taking bites of our elephants… will you join us?

Get rid of 7 things each day this week (or 49 things in one day - whatever!)  It’s a lot easier than you think.  Then, donate your gently used stuff to our yard sale.  See our flyer for more details:

Matthew 6:19-21 says, “Do not store up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moths and vermin destroy… [i.e. the attic].  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven [...]  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  The eye is the lamp of the body.  If your eyes are healthy [read: generous], then your whole body will be full of light.  But if your eyes are unhealthy [read: stingy] then your whole body will be full of darkness.  [...] No one can serve two masters.  Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despite the other.  You cannot serve both God and money.”

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Living your happily ever after.

A couple times before, Parker & I have been asked to sit on the "Married Panel" of our church's Pre-Marital session Q&A.  We're always the "young married couple" and then they have a couple middle-aged couples and one or two long-time married couples.  The marriages range from a few months to many decades and I feel like I learn just as much from the other couples' advice as those attending the pre-marital session.  Here is a collection of the best 10 tips for a good marriage that I've put together after hearing the other couples and thinking of my own marriage.

Pray together.

While having your own private time with God is also important, there is just something about hearing your spouse pray out loud for you and thank God for you.  Parker and I pray together every night before bed and it's so special because I can hear his praises and petitions to God, I can join him in those, and add my own.  We pray for each other, our family, friends, jobs, major family decisions, and ask for guidance in the next day and coming years.  It's a sweet time... and it holds us accountable.

Eat together.

I realize that this isn't always possible with some people's "passing in the night" schedules, but as best you can, try to eat your meals together.  Most mornings we eat breakfast together and every day we eat dinner together.  During that time, there aren't as many distractions (email, texts, TV, etc.) and we can talk about the upcoming day or share stories about the day.  When we eat, there are no phones (as much as possible)... unless we're showing each other something on our phone when it comes up in conversation.  It's not really the eating part that's important, but the chance to settle down and talk that is.

Go to bed together.

I know, I know.  A lot of people think this is just crazy.  What if the husband stays up late watching a game and the wife is ready for bed?  Or, what if the wife is up browsing Pinterest and the husband's exhausted?  For us, it doesn't matter.  We go to bed together every night if possible.  I might fall asleep on the couch or vice versa, but usually it goes something like "Ready for bed, babe?" "Yep!"  (It helps that we both love sleep, haha!)  Parker jokes that when we get in bed, I start talking non-stop, lol... but going to bed together gives us time to pray and then hang out for a few minutes without any distractions (no chores, no children, no TV, no phones, no work, no computer).

Greet each other.

We're not always the best at greeting each other at the door... but we both make a point to say hello as soon as one of us gets home.  Now that I think about it, I almost always say "Welcome home babe!" and Parker says "Glad to be home!" Haha!  I know that is cheesy as all get out, but I think the importance lies in the action - I stop what I'm doing for a second to acknowledge him, and he does the same.  No one wants to come home and be completely ignored!  You might need some down time to unwind without talking, hustle, and bustle... but I don't think anyone wants to be unnoticed after a long day away from home.

Dance.

Even if you're terrible at it, you should dance together.  Dance in the kitchen or on the deck... or while you brush your teeth... whenever.  Why?  Because it's fun.

Laugh a lot.

At our wedding reception, we had all the married couples participate in the anniversary dance to see who had the longest marriage.  My aunt & uncle won and the DJ asked them their advice for our new marriage: Pray together and laugh together... even if it's at yourself.  So we do... laugh at ourselves I mean... and also at each other.  Haha!  Laughing, like dancing, is also fun, so do it as much as possible.  PS.  It helps if you have a funny husband ;)

Date.

Go on dates together!  Be intentional about asking each other on dates and take them seriously.  Plan them.  Dress up for them sometimes.  Get a babysitter.  Do it regularly.  We plan kid-free date nights once a month and do family date nights sometimes as well.

Hold hands.

Because even in the silence, you can acknowledge your love and show him you're thinking about him by touching his hand... or rubbing his shoulder or playing with his hair.  This always makes me think of Chuck & Larry's marriage (you know the movie??) when they pull each other's ears as a "sign of affection." lol!!  Holding hands (etc.) is also a nice way to acknowledge your affection for each other in front of others.  Now... let's see who is going to go pull each other's ears in from of the friends. Bahahaha!!

Praise and thanksgiving.

Tell him you're thankful for him.  Better yet, tell him why you're thankful for him.  Give him compliments, as simple as "You look handsome today!" or more specific.  Even better... while you're praying together, thank God for him.  He should do the same for you... and what girl doesn't love being flattered? :)

Just leave the dishes in the sink.

Sometimes, heck, who am I kidding... OFTEN times, it's easy to get caught up in the daily minutia (wash the bottles, pack the lunches, clean up after dinner, bathe the baby, fold the laundry, etc.)  BUT, I'm a firm believer that sometimes you just need to leave the dishes in the sink so that 1) you can hang out together and 2) you can rest.  Rest = less grouchy = better spouse.  So every now and then, just let those (you fill in the blank) be.  :)

It's important to note that none of the above tips are rules... just guidelines.  While we strive to do all of them, it's not like we do them to follow "rules" we've made... it just is what we do.  It's natural to us and it seems like that is the consensus among the other married couples on the panel.  No one's marriage is perfect... but hopefully, everyone can have a happy marriage.

What advice do you have for "living your happily ever after?"

Speak Up!

Ever since I read The Purpose Driven Life, the idea that we need to speak up for God in other's times of despair has really been on my heart.  This idea is almost radical to me, because so many times we are told to "mind our own business" and "leave well enough alone."  Well, this is wrong and God calls us to speak up for Christ.  Proverbs 31:9 says, "Speak up and judge fairly."

The Bible tells us that we should not simply look the other way and hope it goes away on its own.  We should bring it out in the open and deal with it (1 Corinthians 5:3-4).  If we know people who have lost God's truth, we should not write them off.  In fact, we should go after them and get them back (James 5:19).  Losing God's truth is easy to do because Satan is alive and active.  Satan is clever and he knows how to make us believe his lies.  If we see this happening, we need to go to the person - not "mind our own business."  It is our business, because if one part of the body suffers, then all the other parts suffer with it (I Corinthians 12:26).

We do this because of love and with love.  Our strong love for each other will prove to the world that we are His disciples (John 13:35).  We are called to encourage one another daily (Hebrews 3:13).   We are told that "whenever you possibly can, do good to those who need it.  Never tell your neighbor to wait until tomorrow if you can help them now" (Proverbs 3:27-28).  We are to "share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2).  Someone in despair should have the devotion of his friends (Job 6:14).

And finally, this means we must step out of our precious little comfort zone and be bold.  There will be times that people get mad at us or take it the wrong way.  But the Bible tells us, "In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery" (Proverbs 28:23) and that "An honest answer is a sign of true friendship" (Proverbs 24:26).

No wonder people complain about not "feeling" and "hearing" God.  He's probably trying to speak through us and we're to afraid to open our mouths.  We are supposed to be BOLD in Christ and STAND UP and SPEAK UP for Him!

Live for God

Lately I’ve been thinking about what it means to live 100% for God. The Bible says that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will have salvation (Romans 10:9). But, confessing that Jesus is Lord is more than just speaking it. The word “lord” in a feudal society meant the one who provided for and protected his people. Those living under feudalism were expected to work for their lord (i.e. be in the military or manage the land), because without him, they would have nothing. The people completely depended on their lord.

In fact, even Satan has said that Jesus is Lord (Luke 4) and he fell from Heaven (Luke 10:18). To confirm this, the Bible says in Matthew 7:21, “Not everyone who cries out Lord, Lord, shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” So, confessing that Jesus is Lord is more than speaking – it is completely depending on and completely living for our God.

I can think of maybe 2 people that model what living 100% for God means. TWO people! And I am not one of them. It literally makes me sick to think that God’s own children are making excuses about their love for Him. I know tons of people – good people - that believe in God and follow Romans 10:9 – but they don’t live for God. They don’t eat, pray, walk, sleep, and work for God. God has told us that He’d rather us be hot or cold, but because we are lukewarm, he would rather spew us from his mouth (Revelations 3:15-16). He would rather vomit than have us live the way we live – half-hearted, only 60-70% living for Him.

The Bible says to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17), praise Him from sunrise to sunset (Psalm 113:3), worship Him continually (Psalm 34:1). It says, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 10:31). Again, it says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as if working for the Lord, not for men” (Colossians 3:23). Make your bed for God. Study for your exam for God. Brush your teeth and praise God. Cook dinner, grocery shop, wash clothes, walk to the car as an offering to God. This isn’t a pray in the shower, pray before bed, sing praise songs in the car kind of relationship – it is a button your shirt, tie your shoe, and sneeze for God kind of relationship. Everything is about Him. Nothing is about us. It is ALL ABOUT HIM. That is how I think God wants us to be living – 100%, all the time, for Him.

I want to be like this. I want to do this. I want to be on fire for God ALL the time – every single second of every single day. Every breath that I breathe and every blink that I have – ALL THE TIME – 100%. I started by making my bed for God this morning. And now I told you, so I can’t change my mind.

How Great Is Our God

This morning, our pastor shared a video clip from a message given by Louie Giglio.  In all seriousness and honesty - it has changed and rejuvenated my faith.  Please, please, please, take the time to watch it.  It's long, but every second is worth it.  I just have to share it with you, its on my heart so heavy.  It is entertaining, funny, but more than anything, so moving.  It will touch your heart!  I was going to give a summary, but Louie says it so well, I would never be able to give it justice.  Please watch it.



Click here to see the following parts:
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Move over Emily Post

While I was searching for the correct way to address invitations, I came across many suggestions for proper etiquette.  It got me thinking, "Boy is our society rude," and I live in the south!

So, here is my list of etiquette guidelines that I think everyone should know and follow:

• Always hold the door for someone who is less than 3 steps away.
• The person closest to the door on an elevator exits first.  If you are not getting off and someone behind you is, step to the side so they can exit easily.
• On the bus, if an elderly person, pregant woman, or small child is standing, kindly offer him/her your seat, especially if you are a man.  If a seat becomes open, a man should let a woman get first dibs.
• Be aware of personal space on the bus, or in any tight public area.  Yes, that includes your 100 lb. bookbag.
• When two people walking towards each other are carrying umbrellas, the taller person should raise his/her umbrella to avoid bumping into the other walker's umbrella.
• It is not proper for a person to answer a phone call in the middle of a conversation or meal.  If the call is very important, politely excuse yourself, answer quickly, and return as soon as possible to the conversation or meal.
• Cover your mouth for goodness sake.
• Men need not to open the door, pull out a chair, or pay for every meal... but it sure is nice when they do.

That's all for now.

What's wrong with being "just" a woman?

In a discussion about gender in my religion class today, I was appalled by people’s views on women in religion. But before I start my rant, please know that though UNC is a liberal university, I think that many people here are “bandwagon” liberals. I think that many people here are afraid to speak out against the grain, which I find SO interesting since everyone thinks that being “liberal” is going against the grain. Anyhooo….

It is no secret that I want to get married young, build a home, and have children. I want to be a wife, a mother, a nurturer, and a homemaker. My priority will not be my career, though I plan to have one as a teacher. And that is okay. Sure, I go to a prestigious university and plan to graduate with a masters degree in 2011 and while I will be proud of my accomplishments, they won’t define me. I want to enter a covenant of marriage, and dare I say it, submit to my husband out of love and respect – just as the church does to Christ. What’s that? “Submit?” you ask, “but that’s not PC!” (Oh the horror! – insert sarcasm)

Why yes, I believe in submitting to my husband out of love and respect, because on the other side of the equation, he will honor me with his sacrifices out of love and respect. Oh, what? It’s mutual? YEAH! Have you read all of Ephesians 5? The rest of it says:

“Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.. Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. Man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one.” verses 25, 28, 31

So, my husband will make sacrifices for me out of love and respect, just as Christ does for the church. My husband will love me as he loves himself because we shall be one. Not 2 unequal parts of a whole – but one whole. We will love, honor, and respect each other – it’s a mutual thing!

Sorry, I got a bit off track there… but back to original rant…

Did you know there is such a thing as a “politically correct” bible? There is! All the places that once said Father (as in “Our father in Heaven”) have been changed to either Father-Mother or God. All the places that said “Son of Man,” now say “the Human One.” Even though I want to laugh at such ridiculousness, it really frustrates me. Seriously? Women and men are different! We were both made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27) and we are both fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). God didn’t just create men and women with different parts and of different names without a reason. It was intentional. It is okay to be different from men – men aren’t better than women, therefore, being different from men doesn’t make women any less better.

So, get over your need to be politically correct lest you offend someone. The sheer fact that you think that when something is not politically correct it might offend women, is offensive in itself.

Fireproof

This weekend I watched Fireproof with Parker & his parents. It is SO, SO, SO good! It was made by the same church that made Facing the Giants. If you're not familiar with these movies, they were made by an awesome church and they rocked the charts of Hollywood, you should check them out. Fireproof is about a fireman named Caleb Holt (played by Kirk Cameron (Growing Pains anyone?), the only professional, established actor in the whole movie) who fights to save his marriage after his dad gives him a book called The Love Dare. While it certainly has a Christian basis, I think it's a good movie for anyone to watch. I think everyone who has thought about getting married, is getting married, or has gotten married should watch this! It's so good! It just might make my Top 5 list! Maybe even my Top 3!

There is also some great websites for the movie and for "Fireproofing your Marriage." They have resources for married, remarried, dating, and engaged couples! Even if your relationship isn't on the rocks, they have really good resources for just strengthening your love. My favorite is The Love Dare - it's the book Caleb's dad gives him in the movie, and it is sold in stores. You can look at a sample here (at the bottom). Oh gosh guys - it's so good! Seriously, check it out.

The movie plays on the fireman analogy, saying things like "Never leave your partner behind" and "Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes, you will be able to withstand it." It also talks about marriage as a covenant instead of a contract. I think this movie is more relevant to society than Facing the Giants - 1 of 2 marriages end in divorce! Definitely, definitely watch it!

I thought I'd include a movie trailor to get you interested! Don't forget to pause the music at the bottom of my blog! Enjoy!

What Is Grace?

Okay, so I chose my blog name, "Grace Like Rain," because I feel that God's grace, like rain, truly falls down on me all the time!

So what is grace? Grace is the free and unmerited favor or beneficence of God. In other words, grace is receiving something good that you don't deserve (Mercy on the other hand is not receiving something bad that you do deserve – mercy & grace go hand in hand).

So I was thinking about the concept of grace and I came across a passage in Ephesians – (Eph. 2:1-9). It says:

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from ourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.

Ok, so paraphrase: I was once “dead” from my transgressions when I was following the ways of the world – and some people are still “working for the world.” All of us have worked for the world at some time or another when we were succumbing to our sinful urges. BUT (here’s a big but), God (who is so forgiving and loves us so much) made us alive again! In fact, He brought us on His team to show the incomparable riches of His grace (that’s right – incomparable!!!) He sacrificed Jesus for us! It is by His grace that we’ve become alive again through our faith!

AND God’s grace is sufficient – there’s no fine print at the bottom – He said so himself in II Corinthians 12:9!

Man, I don’t know about ya’ll but I feel pretty unworthy of such a gift. I mean, God really loves us a lot! His grace awakens me all the time to who and whose I am…